you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
