Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
