I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
