No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
