there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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