Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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