Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
