Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
