HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
