"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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