boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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