Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
