How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize