I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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