Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize