just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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