finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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