these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
