Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
