he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
