I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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