Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize