i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
