Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
