That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
