i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize