I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
