Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize