But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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