dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
