did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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