you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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