I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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