FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
