you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
