Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
