I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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