but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
