why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
