I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
