i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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