Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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