First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize