Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
