she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
