So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
