Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize