guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
