i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
