can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
