Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
