The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i will never coherently bang her
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
