there's paper in my vomit.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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