i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
