i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
