shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
