Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
