We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
