Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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