Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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