how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
