Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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